Tuesday, October 20, 2009

few more things!!!!

I was driving in the car and the lonestar song, I'm Already There came on. I totally forgot about it We loved that song!!! It has a new meaning now!!! listen to it!!! be a good cry!!! I found a CD that Jordan made me for my Birthday one year!!! It had our songs we used to dance to!! He really did love me. he was a little romantic!!! I am glad I have lots of good things to remember!!!The other day I was driving and Chantel said to turn on the radio, kinda weird cause she never tells me to so I did and Garth Brooks was on THE DANCE!!!! I forgot!!! about that one too!! Jordan loved that song!!! It was like He wanted me to hear that!!! It says "I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end the way it all would go, I could've missed the pain but I would've had to miss the dance!!! I know it sounds crazy, But It made my day!!

Everyone Needs good neighbors and good friends!!! I feel so lucky and so blessed!!! Thanks so much for the help and all that you have done for me!!! One night I had just got my kids to bed and my house looked like I have 3 kids!!! in it and I was working up the energy to clean it and my neighbor called at 10pm and said i am coming over to help!! she helped me clean my whole house!!! I woke up the next morning and thought I can get up my house is clean!!!!

Some things I am Worrying about!!! Do you really want to know??? I worry about my kids the most.... Mason needs someone to wrestle jordan would play and tackle and tease from the min he walked in the door tell they were sleeping!!!! He was so good!! I worry how am I going to be able to teach them all the things that someone who holds the priesthood would!! He was a good teacher. Not to mention HOMEWORK!!! oh dear!!! I wish I would have listenened and not been so tired when he tried to teach me all the time!! we would read our book of Mormon at night it bed and I would usually fall asleep to him reading. I wonder if my subconscious really did get all those things!! I worry about Chantel she has a hard time leaving me doesn't want to go to school scared I wont be here when she gets back?? sad huh!!!
Crazy how when you type or write something down its makes things look different!! a song that I have been listening to keeps coming to my mind its a hilary weeks cd it says "When you have taken your last step and done all that you can do he will LIFT YOUR HEAVY LOAD AND CARRY YOU!!! SUCH A GOOD SONG (he'll carry you)
I guess I shouldn't worry just keep going and following the spirit!! It has been so good to have the guidance of the spirit!! i know it has helped me so far!!I know he hasn't forgotten us!! love you guys thanks for all you do!! sorry if this is just a big mess. love shell


  1. No mess. Just so sweet! Jordan is definitely a keeper! He's got to be staying so close to you and the kids! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Oh Shell, you are wonderful!! Anytime Mason needs someone to wrestle with let me know and I will bring Bryson over! It was so good to see you the other day!! The spirit is so strong in your home. I think Jordan is probably on the other side just beaming with pride at how Awesome you are!! I hope you always remember how special you are!! Call me if you need anything!

  3. First of all:
    Thank you.
    Second of all: I sounds to me like you are being the absolute best parent.
    I bet your grief feels like GRIEF X 4 sometimes.
    You are doing so good.
    Third of all: Even tho you have really really bad days. (Thank goodness you are normal and human and being exactly like someone who has lost the love of their life should be)
    Ok..even tho you have really really bad days I want to share with you that I know you will come out on the 'other side' of this and have good days. Really really good days.
    Even if all you accomplish in a day is cry your face off and wrap up in a blanket.
    You are still heading in the direction of better days ahead.
    I think somewhere out there - there is a quote on how many really really hard bad days you will have....and everyday you have one you are doing the right thing - you are closer to having good days. There are out there, they will come. They will come as just little whispers of good at first and then grow and grow.

    Shel you are doing the right things for you and your sweet littles.
    You are doing great.
    You will know each day what to do.
    You are a master at 'finding' the signs of comfort and help.
    You are sharing that 'gift' of seeing the signs of comfort with your children.
    What a nice gift you are giving them.
    Oh Shelley Sue.
    I love you.
    Auntie Arlene

  4. Shelley, you are such an inspiration! Reading your posts makes me want to be better and try harder. Last week I heard the song "I Believe" by Diamond Rio on the radio and it made me think of you. We are still praying for you and your cute kids!
    Emily (Claridge)Morgan

  5. You are such a spiritual giant and example to me, you teach them soo much, and I know I don't see you that often, but I am always SOO impressed with the way you are a mom to your kids!! keep reading and listening to those uplifting things they will say what you need to hear, you are sooo close to the spirit!!!

  6. Shelley Sue.
    Do you know what GRACE is? I think sometimes us Mormons don't really understand.
    To be honest - I don't understand very much, but I do a little.
    In the Bible Dictionary under grace..it states, "Grace is an enabling power...." then it talks about eternal ilfe and exaltation - which are really really good things, but I love just those words.
    I think Elder Bednar helped us see that enabling power when he pointed out to us and taught about 'tender mercies'.
    Grace is not just about forgiveness and eternity.
    It is about the here and now. It is about POWER...ENABLING POWER.
    The power to do what you need to do.
    The power to grieve and grow.
    The power to be happy.
    Amazing Grace...how sweet the sound.
    These words from the book Grace Disguised..."The tragedy pushed me toward God, even when I did not want him. And in God I found grace (or in other words..enabling power)- even when I was not looking for it."
    That is what I am praying you will feel.
    That in this time of your life you will sense and feel God's power.
    Now that isn't the same you YOUR power. That doesn't mean you just have to cowboy up and be tough and get through. That is YOUR power. No, no, what I pray you will feel and know is GOD'S POWER..his grace, in your life.
    That you will be enabled.
    Enabled by God's power to do what you need to do.
    That you will have quick answers to your prayers.
    That you will know just what to do for your littles.
    That you will know that life can be GOOD.
    Not in the same way....it has been...but still GOOD.
    In fact - Shelley I want you to know.
    Different but good.
    You are going to wake up and think - "I feel happy." You may not feel that now...but you will.
    You will feel happy. It is called "the Great Plan of Happiness."
    And I am taking that to the bank and fully expecting that God will give you his GRACE so you will find and feel a new sort of happy.
    A different but very rewarding kind of happy, contentment, peace.
    In fact, I believe that you will find a happiness that the rest of us..may never find. A deep fulfilling genuine happiness. You know you never really know how good it is to feel good until you have had the stomach flu for a couple days?
    Well, that is what will happen for you. When the little light of happiness comes (thru Gods grace) and shines on your face..you will feel that light and sunshine - like we will never feel.
    It will be warm and delicious and wonderful. More wonderful than it has ever been in your life.
    And I promise you IT WILL COME.
    That doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up for all those days you feel like sitting in the corner with a blanket over your head - that is not what I am saying..I am saying...you will by the grace (enabling power) of God - find a way to drop that blanket down just a bit and the grace of God will help you feel that sense of peace and content and happiness you so desperatly desire...for you and your littles.
    In fact, God will be the very One to help you come out of the corner.
    That is part of His job.
    Did you know that?
    It is his work to bring to pass the Plan of Happiness.
    Lean on Him.
    Count on it. It will come...only it bits and pieces - maybe only for a few minutes at a time...but promise Shel...it will come.
    Big hugs......Shelley Sue.
    I love you.
    Auntie Arlene

  7. hey, Shel. I do believe that your expressing these feelings is power and healing. I have filled several notebooks of feelings, concerns, expressions that have gotten me through hard times. It works. I love you and love seeing the growth and power (grace as Arlene says) you are gaining. I have a song I am teaching the kids called...I think I'll think twice next time. It is about making decisions and choices. It goes on to say, what was I thinking? If we signed up for these experiences prior to birth....what was I thinking???? With that, I believe we believed we could do it!!!! We probably cheered each other on!!! Hang in there!!! love mom

  8. Dear Shelley,

    This is Aunt Barb. I've been thinking about you alot lately. Actually, I pray for you every single day.

    I know I don't really know how hard this is cuz I haven't experienced it, but I can imagine. (it hurts!)

    I wish somehow I could help you carry your burden and take some of it off of your shoulders.

    I know you worry so much about being able to comfort your kids and teach them in the right way. It takes alot of courage and faith to keep putting one foot in front of the other and facing each day. Doesn't it?

    I certainly admire you.

    I know that Heavenly FAther is helping you carry on and I believe you are stronger than you think you are.

    It's comforting to know that He truly does know exactly what you are feeling and the pain you are suffering. That's what is so good... is that you can pour your whole heart out to Him and He will know exactly how to help you.

    He is our Savior. He loves us perfectly. He'll make up he difference...just do the best you can....that's all you have to do.

    Gr ma told me to tell you that she prays for you "most sincerely" every day.

    I think many of us kinda feel helpless in knowing how to help you best, but please know that we love you very much and in our small way are "mourning with you."

    I know you are growing in a new way and that you will look back and marvel at your ability to have done such a very hard thing.

    I remember how bad our hearts hurt when Rees' Mary Ann died. I thought...this is the end. Rees will never laugh again! But in time....he did! (He does!)

    God will also wipe away your tears...I believe this is the hardest time right now...and you are making it!

    He DOES hear our prayers. I really like it when you share how you see the tender mercies He is blessing you with in your everyday life.

    I BELIEVE it too! Never doubt! He is mindful of His Shelley!

    Hugs and hugs. Barb

  9. Shelley,

    I love to hear how your kids and you are doing. I am also amazed at your faith and love and that you are moving forward and pressing on, even though it is sooo hard and you may not feel like it always. You are a beloved daughter of God. He loves you sooo much. He loves your kids so much. I feel such sorrow for you, for your kids, for me! I miss Jordan too. I wish I could hire him to come finish our shed and build some shelves for me. I wish I could call him when I can't get a hold of you and tell him to have you call me. He "always" answered the phone when I called him. I liked that I could count on him! 360-1246. He was my favorite bro-in-law! He really took care of me, especially during my single years. He was always there to give me a priesthood blessing. I remember he said I cried like you. I remember when we painted ceramics, and Jordan had this small heart he was painting "one" color. It took him FOREVER to paint it because he did it sooo perfectly. I loved how he built our shed. It was soo perfectionistically. The city inspector said it is nicer than some people's homes and it was so sturdy and sound.. He also keeps calling us to see if we got our hurricane washers put in! Jordan was supposed to order those---Jordan! Well, I am just missing Jordan a lot lately. I miss him for you and your kids and I miss him for me and for my family. I wish Mariah could've grown up knowing him too. He was really good to her. Always watching her with your kids too, so we could go walking or run to the store--as long as she was sleeping! Spending time with your kids reminds me so much of Jordan. They are a lot like him. I love Mason's swagger and grin. His mischievous smile reminds me of Jordan. I see Jordan in Chantel in so much of what she does. She loves learning. Your kids are so cute, Shelley. I am sooo glad you have them to comfort and love you. Mason is so protective of you, just like Jordan. I expect him to take really good care of you someday. He already does pretty good, and he's only 3!. Anyway, I just want you to know, Shelley, that I love you. I really want you to find happiness. I pray for you daily and think of you throughout each and every one of my days. Please call for anything. Jenni

  10. Ok I know you haven't posted in a while but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you! Hope you and the kids are doing ok.

  11. Thinking of you and sending smiles your way! Love you shell!

  12. Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and shedding some tears for you in this holiday season, Shelley. I can't imagine how it must feel, but I wanted to tell you that I'm still thinking and praying for you and your beautiful little family. I hope that you are feeling the joy of this Christmas season as well as the bittersweet memories of Christmases past and I pray that you will feel our Savior's arms around you.

  13. Shelley- we've never met (I am friends w/ Linzy & Dusty- in the same ward in Eureka), but I feel so much love for you and your family. I wanted to voice my support to you and just tell you how strong I think you are. You have so much support and your husband did NOT leave you alone to deal with things by yourself. You get to see him every day in your children's sweet faces and have all the hands of all the others who loved him to help you raise them up the way he would have.

    I pray you're heart and mind may be at peace and know Heavenly Father provided the way back to your husband. What a blessing!

    May your home be warm...
    ~Lara Mikkelsen

  14. Shelley! It's VoNique! Remember me? It's been too long! I've thought about you so much since we've lost touch and I just found out yesterday about all of this! I've read all 92 posts on this blog, and my heart just aches for you! I'm just so sorry for your loss! (And all of the Mingo's!!) How tragic. You two were such a cute couple. (I hate that that is written in passed tense.) You really seemed to have such a good relationship. I wish I would have know sooner, but I'm glad you've had so much support. Please add me to your support-list! Really if there's anything I can do for you, you just name it ok? Are you still in the same house in Lehi? How are things financially? Could you use some help fund-raising? I've lost both of my parents over the last couple of years (my Dad passed away last August as well) and as difficult as that has been I still just can't imagine what you've been going through! I couldn't imagine losing Jared, especially if we had 3 kids! They're adorable, buy the way. I see so much of both of you in them. Can you email me all of your contact info? (Address, email, phone, etc?) And I'll email you mine back if you want. My email is voniqueg@hotmail.com. I love you, Shell! I've missed you tons! I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Love, VoNique

  15. Oh, Shelley <3 VoNique sent me the link to your blog and you are in my heart and prayers. I've gone through my hardest things these last 3 years and the expressions of your faith renew mine. Thank you for that. I'm sure you have your hard times and your strong times, too. Angels are with us. We sure are asked to do some very hard things here. You are "passing" your "tests" triumphantly and with grace <3 The way you faithfully rise above will help everyone around you to do the same with the things we're asked to go through. I'm learning that faith is truly a gift. You have many gifts and though you don't always have to be strong, you're a blessing in the lives of all you touch, you know. Even Christ needed an angel, people reminded me during my hardest days.

    I love how when we were roomies there was just no question where your love and loyalties layed. Jordan had your heart from the start. And he came home and it was perfect, just like you always told us. You ARE the sweetest couple. and I have felt my parents once in a while. I'm sure they're with us more than we know. I know he's with you. And God blesses us as quickly as we ask aright.

    Sending you love and prayers.
    PS Send me your info, too when you send it to Nique.

  16. Hi there.

    I thing the easy peezy wallet could work for a checkbook cover.

    I was reading some comments and it sounds as though have suffered a loss. A severe one. My brother in-law passed away in a car accident last February, leaving behind my older sister and her two daughters, then 5 and 2. I think I understand you feeling of loss and pain in a very small way.

    A friend of mine gave me this quote during that time and somehow it made sense and gave me comfort.

    Elder Wirthlin said, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

    Elder Wirthlin said, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

  17. Shelley, I want you to know you are an inspiration to me. My perspective in so many ways has changed because of you. When we say our family prayers, after the prayer has begun, Summer always says, "Bless the Mingos". We hope you know we love you and your children and pray for you.