Shell here....just a few things I am thinking about!!!/well alot of things were thinking about!!!

Well its been a while I have had lots of good days and lots of not so good.I feel like I still want it to be a bad dream. But when I wake up in the morning I realize really quickly that its real. Then I look over and see all 3 kids in my bed(its crazy we all fit) and think I have plenty to be grateful for.

Landon is such a smiley little guy!!! Mas was the same at his age. thats usually one of the first things people say about him!! He has just started sleeping good and started playing good with toys. He loves his big brother and sis. they can get him laughing pretty good!!!

Mason is 3 and has major attitude!!! keeps me going he came down stairs the other day and said mom I cracked an egg on the floor!! sorry mom, like just so you know he is quite the entertainer. loves to sing and dance and he does this thing were he shakes his head from side to side with a big grin!!! its so cute. Most of day is filled with stories of daddy Mason came up the stairs and said mommy tell me the story about daddy and mason going to the park and going down the slide and when we went swimming jumping in the water!! It was so sweet!! Its fun to see him light up when we talk about daddy!! HE has been begging to go in daddys pickup!!! so we finally switched the car seats.

Chantel is my big helper especially when she wants to be. She is a thinker and is always asking about dieing and all these things that i cant even imagine what is going on in her little head. She asked How old she will be when she dies?? and when she is resurrected will she be a baby again or like she is now ?? she asked if daddy would have to have holes in his hands?? she asked will she have to be on the cross?? will daddy??? All these things I cannot believe To smart for me!!! I was so glad that I could say no Chaney DAddy does not have to have holes in his hands and we dont have to be on the cross!! Jesus did that for us so that we can be with daddy again she got a big smile!!! It was really cute tonight I said Chaney go and brush your teeth, then a little later I said chaney grab the wipes k (Landon had poop up to his neck!!!) she said mom I don't have 8 arms I cant do all these things at once!!! It was to cute!!!

Anyway for the most part kids are doing good!!! They don't want to go to church to bad and don't love to go to class these days so thats hard but I have a good ward and Chantel has wonderful sunbeam teachers that are good and can keep mason busy when he wont go to nursery!!! he woke up on sunday and i said k mas lets get ready for church!!! he started to cry and said I don't want to go to church! Chocolate, thomas, cousins, i tried it all nothing could convince him!!! we decided to say a prayer that he would want to go!! about 5 min later he comes out of hiding and says i want to go to bishops house!! I said well he's at church!! so lets go see him there!!! it worked!!! GLad you can count on him always being there!!! PRAYER WORKS, It works for anything .Anything that is important to you is important to Hevenly father. I love that.It gets me through the day!!!

Last night was a hard one and i didn't know what to do. I thought well maybe i will go and get some toothpaste(been out for a while kids kind!!) and just get out of the house then i thought I will spend to much money. so I said a prayer Like just a simple one What would help me right now? I am missing jordan I wish he was here. I looked over and saw a book I have been reading so I turned a movie on for the kids and started to read!! it was just what i needed It talked alot about grieving and how it has boundaries!!! And to do it with a grateful heart!! It says We also honor him by our worship and obedience,by our service and gratitude. Faith and trust in God are manifested by service to him and to neighbors near and far.Samuel said," Fear the lord, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how GREAT THINGS HE HATH DONE FOR YOU!!! it also says especially do they thank God for granting life to the beloved one for whom they mourn!! It said " All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good!!! If i can just keep and eternal perspective that helps!!!! Its HARD but I can do it With all the help I have been getting!! I think I can do anything!!!