Friday, September 18, 2009

Still here.....

Shell here,

Well, its been a crazy week or two can't really keep track. Its seems as though, everything is a blur. Ive been meaning to post for a while but know that I've waited so long i don't know where to start. Guess i'll start with something happy.
Mason turned 3. I can't believe it his Birthday. It was Sept. 7th!!! He woke up that morning with the biggest smile, I have ever seen. All day long he'd say "its my Birthday its my birthday" for the last little bit he has been saying... mom, I almost 3 and when I am 3, I will go in the potty. So that morning I said, "Mason, your 3 should we go in the potty?" Please please please. He shook his head and said I'm not 3 I'm 1 like Thomas the train. Oh boy.... maybe by Christmas. Anyway he had fun and he had two thomas parties and loved every min. He is such a sweet little guy. So grateful he's here.

I'm sure your all wondering how we are really doing. I guess I'll tell you. We are okay... Some days I get up shower, even put on some makeup. Some days I get up and tell my poor clients that are waiting for a new hairdo, that its pajama day. And by the end of the haircut, I am feeling much better and wondering why I didn't take a little bit of time to get ready before they came but oh well I am usually better for the next one. Luckily as long as they look good when were done I feel good and so do they!!!
Another happy thing that happened Chantel started preschool. I didn't want to see her go but she insisted!!!! the first day we went I was ready to comfort her and tell her she could do it and I'd be right back to get her all that good stuff u-no. well, we get there she said, "k bye mom."And was gone without even looking back!!! Me and mason cried all the way home.... Chantel is 4 going on 12 she came home. I said, "How was it? "What did you do?" she said, "Mom I can't remember everything!!" So cute, I think she liked it!!!
Landon is doing really really good. He is the sweetest little guy. Always smiling and loves when his brother and sis talk to him. He just had his 4 month checkup. He got his shots and was so big cried for a sec and was fine!!! He has really changed since all of this. He is always so calm and peaceful. I think his daddy has something to do with that. I was able to go to the temple last night it was just what I needed. Such a wonderful peace there. Half way through the session I panicked. I didn't tell the babysitter what time to feed the baby. I said a little prayer please help my babies to be okay. I get home, later then we thought cause we had to go to the next session cause there were so many people. Kids asleep and baby Landon as calm as can be!!! Thanks Heavenly Father and daddy!!!
I have a new love for the Temple, good uplifting music, good books. I am not a reader, and the scriptures. I have always had a testimony. But... Wow, I get it!!! All these things are here for the taking and I choose to take it. What comfort I have found. One of my friends gave me a book. I highly recommend "When Times Are Tough" by John Bytheway. I love him. One of my favorite things it says is this. John Taylor taught, "God lives, and his eyes are over us, and his angels are round about us,and they are more interested in us then we are in ourselves, ten thousand times, but we do not know it"
We have unseen friends on the other side of the veil who are intensely interested in our success, President Ezra Taft Benson testified:
"If we only knew it, heavenly hosts are pulling for us-friends in heaven that we cannot now remember who yearn for our victory. (I like this part) This is OUR DAY TO SHOW WHAT WE CAN DO- WHAT LIFE AND SACRIFICE WE CAN DAILY,HOURLY, INSTANTLY MAKE FOR GOD. IF WE GIVE OUR ALL, WE WILL GET HIS ALL FROM THE GREATEST OF ALL. I have read this over and over again. It makes me feel like I can do anything With an angel like my Jordan yearning for my victory. It almost makes me excited for what I can do. Some days, of coarse, this is not the case but if I only look a little bit a head I can do it. One small min at a time. I know with all the love and support I have gotten. It has helped in so many ways..
THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR EVERYTHING. I KNOW I COULDN'T DO THIS FOR EVEN A MIN. WITHOUT YOU GUYS. I FEEL SO MUCH LOVE BEING SPLIT OUT OVER US. Jordan made me want to be a better person. He always believed in me. We always were setting goals and thinking of things we needed to do better. I am holding on to so many wonderful memories. Lots of good things like this that get me through the day. Some things I miss the most, his hands, his laugh, sitting on the couch dreaming about the future, about what big thing he wanted to do next. His laugh..... HE'S THE BEST!!! THE BEST PART IS, I KNOW HE'S CLOSE. I KNOW HE'S HELPING ME... well this could go on for days so I better stop before you all fall asleep. Lots of love Shell and kiddos


  1. i don't think your comforting words could put anyone to sleep shell... i miss you so much. i get choked up when we get off the phone that i want so badly to tell you that i am praying for you constantly... i was talking to some ladies here about you and they say...

    i just don't know how she is doing it... she must be strong... were they sealed in the temple?...

    how blessed we are for those sacred temple coventants and for the promise that we will see Jordan again. what comfort that gives us.

    I love this quote from the visiting teaching message this month:
    Barbara Thompson, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency: “Sisters, now more than ever, we need women to step up and be strong. We need women who declare the truth with strength, faith, and boldness. We need women to set an example of righteousness. We need women to be ‘anxiously engaged in a good cause.’ We need to live so that our lives bear witness that we love our Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ and that we will do what They have asked us to do” (“Now Let Us Rejoice,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2008, 116).

    Shell, you are definately this type of woman the Lord is looking for. Thank you for being my sweet sister.

  2. Shelley,

    I know I have only met you a couple of times, but I want you to know that I think and pray for you often. You are such an example to me. Your words are always so strong and I am so grateful to know you and to be able to hear about how you are doing.

    Shane and I think of you everyday. Our family prays for you and one day we want to come and see you and let our children play together. Kennedy and Chantel would have so much fun! Kennedy started preschool as well and her experience was the same. She ran in the room, gave everyone a hug and I practically had to force a goodbye out of her. Our children are definitely blessings.

    Thank you for your words. I will continue to think of you often.

    Cassie Oringdulph

  3. Shelley,
    What a wonderful strength I received reading your post. I loved your quotes - put them in my "favorite quote" book. They are important things to remember. Take care. You continue to be in our prayers.
    Julie L

  4. i loved your post. thanks so much for keeping us updated. it helps us feel connected to you. i'm glad you made it to the temple and i was happy to be able to see you. you are radiant. i want to come visit again and bring the dog. it made my day to hear those kids laugh and to see you smile too. (plus, cricket had room to run so she loved it)!!
    your strength is inspiring. it encourages me to draw closer to the Lord. it's been hard. I want you to know I still felt Jordan's spirit in the home while I was there the other day. it made me feel warm. (and that wasn't the oven I felt since i had it turned down too low at first...)!! i'm such a blonde! [yes, i want more of it when i come in for my appt]! i'm glad you feel jordan there all around you too. i'm excited to see you again and maybe i'll pick another good book to bring. i like reading to you. i'll even come read to you on a pajama day. just let me know!

  5. Shell,

    I just love you so much! Your amazing! Thanks for sharing your wonderful experiences and not so wonderful experiences. You are the best person ever. I love you and think of you ever minute!!

  6. Shelley,

    I love your post. I love you. You are such a good example to me and my family. We love you soo much. I continue to pray for you and your family. We look forward to the day when we can see your whole family reunited, but until then, I am definitely going to live worthy to be with God and Jordan again in heaven! Call me on pajama days, I will come do your hair!--and it may not even be in a ponytail!

  7. Shelley-

    I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you all the time. You are truly an inspiration to me. I know how proud Jordan is of you for your strength and determination. My favorite quote is the one when Christ said "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." It is such a peaceful feeling to know that we have such a wonderful gospel to fall back on. Shelley I love you and you and your sweet babies are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Love- Linsey Lloyd Allen

  8. Hi Shelley,

    I was just noticing how many people care about you! (over 100...and many more readers, I'm sure).

    We all want to be included in your happenings and want you to know how very much we love you.

    Just because we aren't right there by you, please know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers, every single day!

    It's kinda sad that you have to comfort all of us, but we need you to! :)

    Your spiritual power and growth is so exciting to see. I hate that is has to come this "hard" way...but by golly, Shell...I think you're gonna make it.

    I know as you hang on to the Lord and continue to notice all his tender mercies, you will be made strong. He'll help you carry the burden on your back.

    Sending loves and hugs, Aunt Barb

  9. Thank you for posting. We think of you and pray for you daily. Love you.

  10. Shelley, I so agree with your aunt Barb. You comfort all of us. It is wonderful to read your blog. You are such an inspiration to me and you have no idea how much you are helping others re-evaluate their priorities in life! Thank you so very much for being YOU. I love you.

  11. Shell-bell,
    I just want you to know that I think of you daily and am praying for God to comfort you and your babies. you are such an amazing person and I have been so touched by your courage and strength. I think everyone is. I am blessed that God has brought you back in my life. I love you and please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you. I know Jordan is proud of you :)


  12. Shelley,
    This is Amber, not Briton, though he would agree with everything I say. Your post made me think of a quote from Elder Maxwell in one of his last conference talks.
    (From my memory) He said.." What will we say, brothers and sisters, to the heros and heroines of Martin's Cove and the Sweetwater, that we admire you? But, we are unwilling to wade through our own waters of chilling adversity"

    I thought of you because you are so will to just go out into that cold water and do what you have to do right now for your family. How many people truly fall apart when faced with such daunting tasks. You inspire me to live better. I will bring this talk when I come and let you listen to it. I have it on CD, I think it is called In the Arms of His Redeeming Love.
    Anyway Shelley, your children are so blessed to have you!! God bless you!